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Zombies File Lawsuit against
the National Football League

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As the National Football League training camps get underway this summer, a controversy is brewing casting a large cloud over one of the Nation’s favorite past times. Today, in federal court, The National Council of Zombies slapped the League with a lawsuit.

In the lawsuit it states, “As a result of the continuous rejection of Zombies attempting to play and/or work for the National Football League (NFL), and given that no Zombie has ever been hired by the NFL, the actions of this organization have proved to be discriminatory.  We are asking the courts for a remedy that includes future penalties for not hiring a percentage of Zombies to work for the NFL.”

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This is absurd. I mean, come on, Zombies, in the NFL? We can barely win a game as it is. Now you want us to be slowed down even more?  ~ Anonymous player for the Detroit Lions
The Wolfman by Sketchy McDrawpants
The Wolfman by Sketchy McDrawpants

Werewolf Rumored to be
Roaming in Central Park

New York police continue to deny the existence of a werewolf in Central Park, but a Cool Ghoul Gazette reporter recently posted the following update on our internal server. READ MORE …

3-story spacer Police spokesman Robin Graves calls the puzzling death of 63-year old Maggie Franks a situation where the “improbable meets the unbelievable”. According to police records, Franks husband, Tiny, killed his wife with a moose. The victim was found dead by hunters on an evening stroll in the forbidden forest of Westlake.

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It seems everywhere we turn there’s more scary news about the quality of our food supply. Genetically modified blood is headed for supermarket shelves and the animals being used are cross-bred and grain fed, posing a huge risk to the energy levels and the health of all vampires.

READ MORE …

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